The Universal Search for Company

It was Alexander Pope (or was it John Donne) that wrote that no man is an island, and those words cannot be more true. One of the universal attributes of humanity is that people are constantly seeking companionship. People, in general, are not good alone. Somewhere along the line, they require company, conversation. Human beings yearn, at their core to communicate, and to not be able to do so is to suffer an irreparable loss of their own beings.

I have often complained in the past year or so at the socially groupings that have come about in College, about how things have changed from a large group of people mixing freely to this mass breaking up into little clusters of exlusive groups characterized more than anything by their self-containment. I have often bemoaned this fate, yearning for the days when everybody first started getting to know each other, and when everyone more or less got along. I complained heartily about the fact that I always felt that I was on the fringes of everything - mixing at the edges of many of these social formations, but never completely at home in any of them. Today again, I had cause for complaint in this regard, when I realized that there was a party going on upstairs in Sinead's room, but was rebuffed when I knocked on the door by one of her flatmates. I once again felt this sense of social exclusion, which has always annoyed me and been a large block on my shoulder.

As an offshoot for the moment, the British have a remarkable talent for rebuffing people in the most polite way, whilst making it completely clear in the doing so that they are not only not welcome, but that they are not at all liked. It is one of those things that only the British can manage, and that with considerable aplomb, with a seeming flick of their wrist. Whereas the Americans can manage a "get lost" or "f**k off" at best, the British do it sounding ever so genteel, but with actually much greater vehemence.

Going back to the topic at hand, in many ways, this social stratification goes on precisely because people do seek a sense of belonging, and it is much easier to find in a small group. Even within smaller groups, there remains a multiplicity of opinions and of personalities. Choosing a restaurant to go to while out with 5 or 6 friends can already be a challenge, let alone in a larger group, so perhaps it is only natural for people to align themselves in a small group with the people they are most comfortable with and in which there would be least possible conflict.

I guess I am often far too hard up about all of this social politics. People have often pointed out that I do have very many friends and acquaintances and I shouldn't be particularly worried with regards to all of this. I am certainly no social recluse, and perhaps that is the issue of it. I am a person who works actively to break down any boundaries, and I really do love meeting people at the heart of it.

Still, Sinead made a special effort to come down and visit tonight, which did me feel a lot better. Perhaps, the important lesson to be learned is this, to really find and acknowledge your friends and to treasure them. After all, would I really have enjoyed spending time in the company of the rest of them? Or would I have enjoyed the company of Sinead coming to visit more? There is really no point in socializing when you are not enjoying it, and that is certainly a lesson to be learned.